Dear Family and Friends, 

Directly after Mid-Autumn Festival, Yueyuen had their sports meeting. This is basically a time where my students get the opportunity to be kids again. We did not have class for three days, and the students had to participate in all different kinds of sports. I mean they were jumping over hurtles, running long distance, sprinting and even doing the high jump. When I was in high school, our sports meeting consisted of tug of war. This was a little more intense. 

Now, if you have ever been to China, you will see references to the Olympics everywhere you go. You will see the Olympic rings on the sides of buildings, sidewalks and on flags all over China. The country is so proud of the Beijing Olympics and they have immortalized the memory. The Yueyuen sports meeting was basically like a little mini Olympics. It was pretty unbelievable to experience. 

The first morning at 8am, the school held the opening ceremonies. This is when the classes literally marched onto the soccer field, led by their head student, and were presented to the principal. Each class had a sign that had been designed by a student in their class. Some classes even went as far as designing their own t-shirts. I have fourteen classes total of Senior 1’s. My students are basically the equivalent of American Freshmen. The sports meeting provided them the first opportunity for them to bond and create team spirit. They sit in the same classroom everyday all day, so it was really nice to see them in direct sunlight. 

After the opening ceremonies, the events began immediately. First off, the students participated in sprinting. Some of the students here are extremely athletic. I don’t mean they are just good at sports, I mean they are so disciplined that they go to school for fourteen hours and on their breaks they are running on the track. Me, if I only had two breaks a day, I would have gone to eat and watch tv, but then again priorities. Now, not all of my students are athletic, so even if they didn’t want to participate, they had to for the sake of their class. So, sometimes you would see the super athletic kids in the short shorts with the bulging quads right next to the kid with the broken glasses wearing jeans and a t-shirt at the starting line. It broke my heart when I saw this. Spoiler alert; the kid with the jeans never won. 

While watching the kids run, Leigh and I were approached by so many different students. It was the first time, where I was available for any and everyone to approach me. I have one little girl, we call her my nugget, who definitely does not clear five feet, but I love her so much. She wears this tiny purple track suit and tiny sneakers. I am pretty sure my hand wouldn’t even fit in her shoes. She constantly sat with me or walked with me from event to event. Every time I see her I just smile, because she is so darn cute. 

I bonded with a lot of my other students too. Most of them were girls, and the boys mostly avoid me, so it’s just like High School all over again for me. I hate to admit this, but it is the first time I even remotely started to learn names. First, there is Sharon, who offered to take me to the grocery store in case I needed any help. Then there is Sonia, who is a little firecracker. She makes sure I know her name and every time she sees me, she screams out, “Teacher Eileen, what is my name?” For the first two days, internally my initially reaction was “Shit, what is her name”. Don’t worry though, I finally got it down on the third day. Lastly, there is Chris. She is a sweet girl, who is slightly awko taco, but she really wants to learn English and I enjoy talking to her. We have started to email so that is very nice. These are just three of my 1,000+ students that I see every week. I consider knowing three names to be a success. 

I also learned that my students are very curious about American culture. They asked me some pretty interesting questions. A lot of them asked me about our sports meetings in America and I told them that they don’t really exist. This pretty much blew their minds. I don’t think they could grasp this really so they just changed the subject. The questions definitely kept me on my toes though. One student came up to me and asked “In America, do you all have a lot of sex friends like on television?” I just looked at her with this open mouthed expression of sheer fear and responded with “I don’t know what you mean?” I tried to desperately change the subject, in order to not start an international incident but she kept at it. She then asks, “Like friends that you have sex with.” I look at her with a tight lipped expression and finally just said “No. I think television exaggerates it”. Finally the subject was dropped, but I panicked like someone’s kid was asking me where babies come from. Even though I had a minor panic attack, the sports meeting continued on as usual. 

I think my favorite event to watch though was the high jump. This is a classic underdog story. When I reached the event, there are only two boys left in the game. First, there is “Short Shorts” wearing his jersey and looking all macho while he is doing all of these extremely intimidating stretches. Then you have got “Glasses” in the other corner who is all hunched over and looks like he has no clue what he is supposed to do. Well “Short Shorts” jumps over the bar, which is so high I am pretty sure I couldn’t pull myself over it. Then “Glasses” comes out of nowhere and completely clears the jump. “Short Shorts” has this look on his face like “WTF Glasses”. The bar keeps going up and both boys keep clearing the bar. Finally it gets so high and neither “Short Shorts” nor “Glasses” could clear the bar. “Short Shorts” goes for a second try, and fails to make the high jump successfully. Then you see “Glasses” push his glasses up his nose, roll the cuffs of his jeans up and starts the short run to victory. In the end, “Glasses” walked away the victor, and I felt like nerds all around the world walked a little taller that day. 

At the end of the sports meeting, students were awarded for their athletic skills on a podium. Six female students were dressed in traditional Chinese garb and presented the victors with their awards. After, the head teachers of their classes would go up to the podium and thank the students for their achievements. It is very evident that the student’s victories are the teacher’s victories as well. This culture puts great emphasis on pride and responsibility. I have enjoyed watching the children learn the true definition of responsibility at such a young age. This is only one of many different examples of this.

 Unfortunately, after the awards ceremony, we had to go back to class. I went to my office to see the other Senior 1 teachers, and gossip about our students and show off pictures of my new nephew. When I show pictures of baby Bryan to Connie, she tells me “He has very sexy lips”. I told Connie that in America, you cannot use the word sexy to describe anyone under the age of 18. She did not get my sarcasm. She then tells me that my schedule has been changed. Now, I teach 14 classes in 4 days. I am ok with this schedule change since I now have no classes on Friday, but Connie is worried. She is afraid that I will be worked too hard, and says she fears for my health. I told her that it is ok, and that in America I sometimes had to work 14 hours in one day, let alone in a whole work week. I don’t think I convinced her. 

I actually had to cram all of my classes into Saturday and Sunday, because on Monday, we were going to have another vacation. This week I decided to teach my students about “Growing Pains” in America and China as well as introduce them to my nephew Bryan. 

To begin class I taught them how to sing "Happy Birthday", and had them sing it to “Baby Bryan”. It was most definitely my favorite moment since getting to China. Since finding out about the baby’s impending birth, I have been scared about leaving. I already love this little guy so much and I wanted to be there when he entered this world. I made the choice to go anyways but have been anxious about not being there. When I saw my kids get so excited about the baby and sing with such enthusiasm, I knew that I had made the right choice. My kids in China were helping me give baby Bryan things that not many other children will ever get to have. I look forward to showing him this video in years to come and telling him that he is loved all around the globe. 

On Sunday night, I had my last class before going on vacation for Nationals Day and let me tell you, my kids were spitfires. So when starting class, I said “Now class, this is a very special day for Teacher Eileen. Do you know why?” I got answers from it’s your birthday to it’s your father’s birthday, and I just kept responding “No. Keep guessing.”This was basically just a ploy to get them to speak in English. Then this little boy, with all the gumption and confidence he could muster, stands up out of his seat and yells, “you finally got a boyfriend.” I stood there for about five seconds processing and said, “No, but thank you for pointing that out”. He was so embarrassed and I think he legitimately thought that was the answer, so I gave in and finally told them my nephew had been born. 

Unfortunately, my self- confidence level continued to decline during the remaining 35 minutes of class. While teaching about growing pains in America, I showed my students pictures of me from high school. Now there is this little, and I mean little, boy who has glasses that are broken so he wears them backwards and upside down. I don’t think they actually work or perhaps they are not his, but his name is Dot Com and I love him so much. He is so curious about everything, but he has absolutely no filter to the things that come out of his mouth. When the first picture of me from high school appears he stares at it with an open mouth glare like he can’t believe what he is looking at, and then he turns and faces me and says, “Teacher Eileen, you used to be skinny.” I just turned to look at him and see the girl sitting behind him reach forward and slap him across the back of the head. I just say, “Thank you Dot Com. I know”. 

As the night progressed, Dot Com continued on a roll. I allowed my class to sing along with Adele’s music video of “Someone Like You”. After that was over, Dot Com turns to me again with the sweetest expression and says, “Teacher Eileen, you look exactly like Adele with no makeup”. Once again, I just responded with “Thank you Dot Com”. When the bell rang at 10pm on Sunday night, I gladly took my defeated self home and went for a long run. 

I enjoyed myself immensely during the week. I actually got to interact with the teachers and students on a more social level. In China, I have learned to always be prepared for the unexpected. I didn’t expect the sports meeting to be so much fun, but Leigh and I loved every minute of it. Nanyue has now given me one more memory that I will treasure for the rest of my life. Love and miss you all so much! I will write soon!

Love, 

Eileen
 
Dear Family and Friends, 


For Mid-Autumn Festival, Loring made the “long” journey to Nanyue. He got into a car with a relative stranger along with said stranger’s wife and parents and they all drove towards the city of Hengyang. In order to get to Hengyang from Nanyue, you must take either a bus or taxi. A taxi is more convenient, but a bus is cheaper, so of course we opted for the bus. We found the bus station, and a man came up to us directly and Leigh started saying “Hengyang?” and the man just ushered us into his car. For a split second, I had this irrational fear that he might try to steal my organs, but then Celine Dion came on in his car and my anxiety quickly dissipated.

When we arrived in Hengyang, our new friend and taxi driver dropped us off right in front of the JZ Mall (no affiliation to the rapper. I checked). While there, Leigh and I window shopped. I have found that in China, you shouldn’t try anything on unless you absolutely want to buy it. Once the sales associate gets you into the dressing room, you will never come out. After I had finished trying absolutely everything on in the store Mango, and leaving with nothing of course, we decided to venture down the escalators to the grocery store.

Leigh headed down the escalators first and as she reached the bottom, I saw a mouse make a bee line straight for her foot. Next thing I know, Leigh has a mouse literally sandwiched in between her foot and her flip flop, she has gone white as a ghost and this blood curdling scream comes out of her. There was a lot of skin to mouse action. I understand how disturbing this is. Meanwhile, the Chinese people waiting outside the entrance all just look at her like “crazy foreigner” as the mouse runs straight past them and into the grocery store. Needless to say, I turned right on around and went back up.

After the traumatizing incident, we decided to treat ourselves to a little taste of home. Now do not judge us, but first we went to KFC and then we went to McDonalds twice. While there, I got myself a lovely, and might I add refreshing, fountain Pepsi. Now fountain drinks are almost as hard to come by as DC ( Diet Coke), DDP (Diet Dr. Pepper), or my favorite DP (Diet Pepsi), so needless to say I took that first sip and savored the hell out of it. As we lounged in KFC, and I creepily drank my Pepsi, Loring calls and tells us he has finally made it to the JZ Mall.

After meeting up with our friend and pleasantries were exchanged, Leigh and I took off towards McDonalds for the first time. I don’t think Loring had ever seen us move that quickly. After eating a delicious spicy chicken sandwich and some amazing French fries we headed to the park.

Once we got there, and walked around for a few minutes, we found this quaint place to paint pottery outdoors. We each picked out our sculptures (all very anime-esque), got some paint, and were given the royal treatment by the owner. All around us, there were four or more people crammed at one table, but the owner kept bringing more tables and stools for us. We each ended up with our own table and two stools. He even gave Loring a stool for his hat. When people came up to talk to us, the owner would stop whatever he was doing and run to form a barricade around us, so we wouldn’t be disturbed. He even paid a beggar to leave us alone. TIC (This is China).

After two and a half hours of painting later, we finally finished our beloved statues. Even though to Leigh and I’s dismay, Loring’s was voted the favorite by a little Chinese girl. I think I had a disadvantage because apparently in China, green hats mean you are a prostitute, so my little statue with bunny overalls is a hooker. Leigh painted a smurf with really creepy eyes, but a flawless coat. All in all it was a perfect day.

As the sun started to go down, we got back in a cab and headed back for Nanyue. I was so happy to see the little town again. Big city living aint for me no more. Once I got home, I relaxed a little and was excited to show Loring around. Even though this is his second stint with WorldTeach China, he had never been to Nanyue. In true Butler fashion, I immediately went to the grocery store to get the necessities; rice and wine. That night, the three of us just watched a movie and went to bed.

The next morning, we cooked breakfast (eggs and hash browns) in the wok, before getting dressed and heading to the tourist office to get our tickets to climb the mountain. Yes, I do think it is a little crazy to pay to torture yourself, but I did it anyways. We get to the window, and couldn’t express to the woman that we were teachers and get a discount, so after five minutes of everyone looking through their Chinese phrase book, Becky comes out of nowhere to rescue us! She flew in, and got us our tickets with no problem. She is a godsend and without her, I have a feeling we would have either paid a lot more or not gone at all.

Becky then decides we need to be shown the royal treatment as well. We get ushered right by the line and straight to the bus. I felt bad because we literally got to bypass 50 people who were patiently waiting in line, and then here come the foreigners who get right on. TIC. I am learning that everytime I try to thank someone they respond with “Do not worry. It is my duty”. At first I thought it was a “lost in translation” thing, but now I actually think that they believe it is their duty to show us the best possible time. Anyhow, we get on the bus and head towards the mountain.

Now, let me put this into perspective for you. Last weekend, Leigh and I had climbed the mountain with Becky and her family. When I say climbed the mountain I mean we took a bus to the cable car, then the cable car to the top where you go up a flight of stairs for about 45 minutes till you get to the peak. On this climb, old men with canes and women with high heels were bypassing me. So when Loring and Leigh got off the bus at the very bottom of the mountain and started walking, I peed my pants a little.

The vast majority of the climb is stairs. You literally just go up stair case after stair case for six hours until you finally reach the top. I have never been so ecstatic to see flat ground in my entire life. I think I cried a little everytime I wasn’t on an incline. It could have been sweat though. It was a very hot day. Now for me, there was no life-changing metaphoric feeling about me climbing my own personal mountain that day, but I can tell you that I made that mountain my bitch. I know Mom, that is vulgar, but honestly there is no other way to describe the feeling of standing on top of that mountain and knowing that I just climbed 4,266 feet of stairs for six hours. I think I earned a little vulgarity.

Now after we reached the top, we all looked at each other and unanimously decided on taking the bus back down. As we boarded the bus, we had never been so grateful for a seat. Loring even let an old Chinese woman take a nap on him. The woman vomiting three seats ahead didn’t affect me in the slightest. I was content. It truly is the little things in life.

That night, we went to Barbara’s (my friend who owns the tea shop) restaurant for dinner. She was not there, but we chowed down on some delicious tofu, rice and sweet potato cakes. Leigh even went and found the burrito man and we each ate a Chinese burrito (Loring thinks it is more of a wrap, but I disagree). Then needless to say, I went home and took a long shower, put on my pajamas and went to bed.

The next day, Leigh and I had to work, but we still had to entertain our guest of course! For lunch, Stella took the three of us, along with her husband and Tony, to the Buddhist temple for lunch. The temple is an oasis in the middle of the town. It has a grand gate, and if it is open, then you may enter for lunch. If it is not, then you must find somewhere else to go. Luckily, for us, the gate was open so we went on inside. Stella had forewarned Leigh and I about the different rules and customs that went along with eating at the monastery. These rules include:

1.     No talking.

2.     Men and women must segregate.

3.     You must consume all of the food that is put in front you (not a problem for me).

4.     After finishing your meal, monks will come around with water for you to wash your bowl. You must drink the water after you have rinsed your bowl.

When being ushered into the eating area, the monks were chanting beautifully. The peace and calm that I felt when I was there, I wish I could bottle and take with me for when my anxiety kicks in. I sat in between Stella and Leigh. I snuck my phone in, so that I could record the monks chanting. I got caught though, but not before I got a nice little video. The food was absolutely delicious, actually possibly the best food I have had since getting to China. I did accidentally drop a piece of rice on the table and a monk came over and pointed at it, watching me until I figured out how to pick up one piece of rice with my chopsticks. It took a few seconds. I panicked under pressure. The monastery was pretty spectacular and I plan on going back many times before leaving Nanyue.

All in all, my first holiday in China was a success. I didn’t go very far, but I did some pretty unbelievable things. I wouldn’t change a second of it. I am falling more in love with this place every day. Thank you again for all your support and I love and miss you all dearly. I will talk to you soon!

Love,

Eileen


 

Dear Family and Friends,

Respect. This has been the unyielding theme
throughout my first week of classes and I have been trying to teach my close to
1,000 students the complex meaning of this seven letter word in a simplified
manner. As I continually tried to find a way of illustrating with my hands or
pictures this ever complex word, I realized the multiple layers of the
definition and I began to think of respect in terms of my own life. 

First, let me state that I am eternally grateful to my parents for
teaching me the meaning of respect. I am no angel. Let me promise you that.
There were many times that I disrespected others, but my parents had and still
do have the strength to discipline me. I got the back of my Momma’s hand many
times before the meaning of respect stuck in my mind as a child. My favorite
story from my childhood is when my brother had to string 3,000 tiny beads onto a
clear rope for being surly to my momma. He disrespected her, and my parents
would not stand for that, so for the upcoming weeks my brother beaded. He
learned very quickly that in the Butler household, surliness was not tolerated.
Now, I did not learn as quickly unfortunately, but my parents never relented in
teaching me the difference and the importance of treating others with respect. 

Unfortunately, many people in this world lack respect. I like to think
that many parents teach their children the basics of respect, like you can’t
steal from someone else or call them names, but in the end there are so many
more ways to be respectful than “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am”.  I
guess I began mulling over this idea of true respect in my head when I got to
China. It has always been a major pet peeve of mine when others treat strangers
like they are worthless because of their own choices in how they decide to live
their life. The stories are endless where people have called me stupid or
degraded me both at work, especially when I was a waitress, and in my own
personal life. A part of me started to believe what everyone else thought. 

Here in China, you are respected from the
start and will remain so as long as you deserve it. They respect you and your
choices without fail. They understand that your life is your own, and you are
the master of your own fate. They want to understand you and the ideology behind
those choices, but they will never question why you made the decisions in the
first place.

I feel that I better agree with the Chinese
philosophy on respecting others. Yesterday, I climbed to the temple on the
Hengshan Mountain, and people kept going up and handing beggars money. In
America, we shy away from homelessness and poverty because we automatically
think they have purposefully decided that fate. “Go get a job” we say. We
disagree with the choices they made and can’t understand them, so why should we
suffer and give away our money. During the strenuous climb up the mountain, I
witnessed true compassion and respect for another human beings life. These men
and women did not know the back story of who they were handing their money too,
but they understood that they needed it to survive. Without questioning their
livelihood, they gave. 

People in this world, and I have been both victim and perpetrator,
disrespect others for making decisions they do not agree with. If something is
important to another person or is a part of their lives, you must make a choice.
That choice must be to respect them and their decision or to turn and walk
away.

One thing I have witnessed and come to
understand, is that people can’t change people, only you can change yourself. I
decided to change. I did not like who I had become, so I made a choice. I like
who I am becoming. I feel myself coming alive again and I thank God everyday
for that. I get out of bed and do things that make me happy. I work out, cook,
clean (yes, Momma I clean), and take care of myself for the first time in a
very long time. I understand that it is hard to comprehend what I am doing and
why I am doing it, but I need you to respect me enough to know that what I’m
doing is right for me.

My life has changed. I am happy and I can
never go back to the way I lived my life a year ago. As I continued up the
mountain yesterday, my friend Becky looked at me and stated “you are so
outgoing”. In that one moment I realized that I once had been a very long time
ago. Before all the bullshit and sadness, yes I had been a very outgoing person,
and finally I am finding that person again. 

Now, like I said, I haven’t always been the
most respectful person, but for the one’s I have loved I have been there for
you. I know in my heart that if I love you, I have made you a priority in my
life. I might have made myself too available to you. I might have let you rely
on me too much, so when I left it seemed selfish, but I can’t apologize for
making myself a better and happier person. I won’t apologize for it anymore. So
I leave you with this; respect other people and their decisions and if you can’t
then turn around and walk away because in the end you can’t change a person and
I promise you can’t change me.


Love,
Eileen

 

Dear Family and Friends,

I have arrived! So my little bubble in
Changsha has burst. I am no longer surrounded by 29 other Americans where our
field directors hold our hands. Life in Nanyue is pleasant and calm. It is my
ideal. I can officially say that country life suits me. So far, Leigh and I wake
up in the morning and walk to find our favorite, and only, steamed dumpling
stand. This morning, mine had seaweed in the middle and by the end of my first
bite, I found that I do not like seaweed. Every moment here is an opportunity to
learn and I definitely learned something this morning.

Everyone here is just as I expected; incredibly sweet. Connie, my liaison, is the
epitome of “better than I could have asked for”. She is my neighbor, and has a very
adorable daughter who actually might be one of my students this year. She looks out
for us, almost in a motherly sense. She is proud to have us here, and will do anything
to make sure we are shown nothing but absolute hospitality, something the Chinese do not
take lightly. Connie will be my saving grace if I need anything at all this year.

Stella, my new friend and neighbor, is
young, vibrant, and has a love for life that is contagious. Last year, Stella
was the liaison for WorldTeach, but this year she will be teaching Senior 3 and
will not have enough time. She is newly married, and her husband works in
Hengyang, the second largest town in Hunan. He comes to Nanyue on the weekends,
and this weekend Stella is going to cook for Leigh and I so we can meet him.
Hopefully, we will pick up a few tips on how to cook using only a wok and rice
cooker, all that consists of our kitchen. I can already tell you that Stella and
I will be great friends.

Lastly, there is Rena. Rena exemplifies
beauty and elegance. She is, as Stella said, “my master”. I am not sure of
Rena’s actual title, considering I am still working on my Chinese, but I know
that I want to stay on her good side. Rena is classically beautiful and carries
herself with the upmost confidence and grace. She has been nothing but kind to
Leigh and I since the first moment we arrived in Nanyue. Our first meal here,
she escorted us to a beautiful hotel, and made sure that we wanted for nothing.
She even had the “mei nu” (waitress) bring out a knife, fork, and spoon. I
hadn’t seen one of those in such a long time, but I resisted my Western ways,
and stuck to my chopsticks.

These three women will be my foundation
while I am living at the bottom of this beautiful and holy mountain. They have
already provided me with safety, comfort, laughter, and kindness. I will forever
be in their debt, and do not know how I shall ever thank them for what they have
done.

Nanyue is an absolutely breathtaking town.
I cannot wait to explore and hike once I get my residency visa and am allowed to
enter all the parks and temples for free. Right now, I am just exploring the
streets of this quaint and idyllic town. Some of my favorite places thus far
include at the school gates where a little three or four year old boy and his
sister, who run up and scream “Hello!” and then run away laughing. They approach
us every time we pass by, and every time I laugh uncontrollably. 

Next, there are the old narrow stone
streets of Nanyue. Along these streets are different vendors that range from
selling different nuts all the way to elaborate golden Buddha’s that come up to
my waist. While you walk along these streets looking at all the different items
up for sale, the smells of incense and peppers fill your nose. Sometimes the
smell of the peppers that are cooking in the back kitchens will actually burn
your throat and eyes. It can be intense so I have learned “Bu la da” meaning “no
spicy”. For my survival, this one line has been more crucial than “Where is the
bathroom”.

While continuing along these streets you
will see the old woman who has made the journey to this mountain every August
for her entire life. She will climb the mountain with the incense she has just
purchased along that street, and light it in the temple at the top of the
mountain. There she will pray for her family and that they will remain healthy
for the upcoming year. After she feels that her prayers have been heard, she
will climb down the mountain to continue on with life, only to return to the
Hengshan Mountain next August.

Every day, I am learning more and more
about this ancient city and mountain. The stories and myths that erupted from
this place completely mesmerize me. Connie told me of the myth of the dragon and
I felt like a child again. I listened so intently to all the details of this
beast that has lived in the mountain watching over Nanyue. I look forward to
hearing more and more about the myths and legends that are the foundation of this
great culture.

Now, I don’t want you all to think there
has been little to no culture shock for me. Like I said earlier, my bubble has
burst and no one is holding my hand any longer. Becky and Geoff are far away in
Changsha and my family is even further away in America. I no longer live in my
father’s guest house and work at the same job where I know Tony would always
look out for me. I am finally realizing that I am an adult and it is time for me
to stand on my own two feet. My parents might still only be a phone call away,
but there is a 12 hour time difference so it’s not always that easy to get in
touch with them. I knew sooner or later that it would be time for me to take off
the training wheels and where better to do it than in China.  

Now I think this was most present yesterday
that I was on my own in my first faculty meeting. Now remember, my Chinese is
virtually nonexistent when it comes to anything outside of numbers and asking
for not spicy food, so I am pretty much an illiterate. At the end of the hour
long meeting, the principal introduced Leigh and I. Now let me explain, I was
slightly disoriented because of the heat and sitting in a non air conditioned
auditorium filled with cigarette smoke, so when the principal said “Lao Shi
Eileen” meaning “teacher Eileen”, I missed my cue. I stumbled up with sweat
pouring down me to the point my dress is soaked, looked out into the crowd of
teachers, and panic set in. I realized in that moment, “oh my God, do I bow or
not bow?” I had seen another teacher bow when he took the stage to give awards
or something, but what about me? So in typical American fashion, I did a half
bow that somehow turned into a full on curtsey. So now, I believe I am the
stupid American. I love living up to stereotypes. Needless to say, I came home
and googled “customary Chinese greetings”. 

Now another thing that I know that I
will not be able to call anyone to help me with is something I have been
incredibly lucky to have not encountered yet while in Nanyue, but I know it is
coming. This major problem is known over here as cockroaches. I have had one run
in with a cockroach on steroids in my hotel room, but luckily Becky came and
fought it off with my rather large shoe. My size 13 shoe beat out the
beefy roach and it died a gruesome death. Now, Leigh and everyone else have had
to deal with these God-awful pests so far, but I know my time is coming. When it
does come, I will not be able to call Terminex or my father or brother to come
and fix this problem. I will have to woman up on my own, arm myself with my
weapon of choice, and head into battle. 

Be it cockroaches or to bow or not to bow, from this trip, I hope to gain independence; independence from my dependence
on my family and friends. Even though right now my biggest problems are
cockroaches and whether to bow or not to bow, I am figuring it out on my own.
I am not calling my parents to ask their advice, because lets be real, they wouldn’t
know either. I am not calling my brother squealing in the middle of the night because
a mammoth sized alien, is running around my bathroom. Right now, it is just me,
myself and I, and I am finding that I like it.

I always prided myself on being independent
because I wasn’t afraid to go to the movies alone, or eat at a restaurant alone,
but the truth of the matter is, I have never been truly independent. I still
have urges to call Momma and Daddy when little things like this pop up, but I am
learning that I can handle this.

Now, I think it also shows a sign of
strength to know when you do need help. When you need help, it is ok to ask, but
you can’t use it as a crutch. I have also done this. You can’t take advantage of
the kindness that people will bestow upon you, because one day, they won’t stick
around to help you anymore. I myself have taken advantage of people’s kindness
and lost them because of that. I have also walked away from others who took
advantage of my kindness. I won’t let this happen anymore. 

I think true independence is knowing what
you are capable of and what you are not capable of. You need to know your own
strengths and weaknesses and I am finding that I can kill a cockroach or google
when to bow, but I might be weak when it comes to other issues. I still need my
parents for that. I still need my friends to hold my hand through tough times.
True independence is not being afraid of asking for someone’s help. True
independence stems from the confidence in knowing who you are. I strive to one
day be that confident in who I am, but right now I am enjoying the ride in
finding it out. 

Love,
Eileen